How to find a spanking partner?

Spanking may be a concept familiar to some in the context of fetishistic sexual activities. It is not uncommon for individuals to indulge in fantasies of being chastised while positioned over another’s lap. Even those who do not participate in formal disciplinary practices may find some degree of pleasure in receiving light smacks on their posterior during intimate moments. However, the intention of this article is to explore the notion of spanking as more than just a passing aspect of foreplay or intercourse. There exist a group of individuals who have integrated spanking into their sexual lives to the point where it takes center stage and serves as their primary means of arousal. These individuals, often referred to as “spankos,” are frequently disinterested in conventional sexual activities. The purpose of this article is to delve into the intricacies of spanking as a complete and self-contained sexual act, highlighting its appeal and how one may go about exploring it beyond mere playful swats on the behind during intercourse.


Spanking is a term commonly associated with physical punishment of children, which can be considered a form of abuse. However, in the context of consensual adult relationships, spanking can also refer to an erotic practice where one partner hits the other partner’s buttocks with an open hand or with implements like hair brushes or paddles. This can involve a power dynamic where one partner takes on the role of punishing or dominating the other partner.

Spanking can be done over clothing, with underwear exposed, or on bare skin. Some people enjoy spanking purely for the pleasure of experiencing pain or submission, while others use it as a consensual way to discipline unwanted behavior. Some individuals may also incorporate spanking into broader BDSM relationships as a way to explore power exchange dynamics.

It’s important to note that all participants in any type of BDSM or kink activity must give their informed and enthusiastic consent. Safety, communication, and respect are essential components of any healthy and consensual sexual practice.


Spanking has become a fundamental aspect of the sexual identity of many individuals who identify as “spankos.” This group of people, who form a thriving subculture within the broader BDSM community, typically associate their sexual desires with impact play on the buttocks and upper thighs. Although it’s not pain or impact itself that fascinates them, they find the act of spanking to be the crux of their sexual interests. Spankos are known to indulge in a variety of activities, such as online communities, fan fiction, and even parties, that revolve around spanking.

The question that arises here is, what makes spanking such an important sexual act that it has an entire subculture surrounding it? Although there isn’t a formal study to explain the eroticism of spanking, Jillian Keenan, a prominent spanking fetishist, has offered a convincing argument for its popularity. Keenan asserts that butts are considered a sexual and private body part in most parts of the world, which makes them sensitive and vulnerable to stimulation. The close proximity of the butt to the genitals and the shared nerve pathways and blood vessels makes it easier for stimulation on one to stimulate the other. Spanking also involves clenching, which creates the potential for pleasurable sensations that coincide with swats.

For individuals who enjoy dominance and submission, spanking narratives and imagery in the media can be an early awakening to these feelings. Additionally, spanking can be infantilizing or humiliating, which makes it a suitable activity to incorporate into degradation or age play dynamics.

There is a common belief that spanking kinks stem from childhood trauma. However, this theory isn’t entirely substantiated. While BDSM can be a means of processing and healing from traumatic experiences, many spanking fetishists have no history of child abuse. In fact, they often find the traumatic origin theory reductive and insulting. However, it’s important to note that individuals who have experienced child abuse should be cautious when experimenting with consensual adult spanking, as even pleasurable spankings could trigger traumatic flashbacks, making it necessary to prepare consciously and communicate throughout the experience.

How to find a spanking partner

Looking for a spanking partner can be a daunting task, especially if you are new to the scene. Thankfully, with the advent of online dating, finding like-minded individuals has become easier than ever before. is one such website that has become increasingly popular among spanking enthusiasts. However, if you are struggling to find the right match on the website, you have come to the right place. In this article, we will provide you with a comprehensive guide on how to find a spanking partner on

Create a compelling profile

Your profile is the first thing that potential spanking partners will see, so it’s essential to make it stand out. Your profile should accurately reflect your personality, interests, and preferences. It’s important to be honest and upfront about what you are looking for to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.

Here are some tips to create a compelling profile:

  • Use a catchy headline that reflects your personality and interests.
  • Use a clear and recent profile picture that accurately represents you.
  • Be honest and upfront about what you are looking for in a spanking partner.
  • Highlight your interests, hobbies, and preferences that may be relevant to spanking.
  • Be polite and respectful in your profile description.
  • Use the search filters effectively offers various search filters to help you find your ideal spanking partner. Using these filters effectively can save you a lot of time and effort. Here are some search filters that you should use:

    Location: Use the location filter to find spanking partners in your area.
    Age: Use the age filter to find spanking partners in your preferred age range.
    Gender: Use the gender filter to find spanking partners of your preferred gender.
    Interests: Use the interests filter to find spanking partners who share similar interests as you.
    It’s important to note that using too many filters can limit your search results. It’s best to start with broad search criteria and narrow down your search as needed.

    Be proactive in reaching out

    Don’t be afraid to reach out to potential spanking partners. offers various ways to connect with other members, including messaging, chat rooms, and forums. Here are some tips to help you reach out effectively:

    • Be polite and respectful in your messages.
    • Start with a friendly greeting and introduce yourself.
    • Mention something from their profile that caught your attention.
    • Be clear about what you are looking for in a spanking partner.
    • Avoid sending generic messages to multiple members.
    • It’s important to remember that not everyone will respond to your messages, and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally and keep trying.

    Attend events and meetups

    Spanking events and meetups are a great way to meet like-minded individuals in person. offers a section for events and meetups, which you can browse and attend. These events provide an opportunity to connect with other spanking enthusiasts, share experiences, and even find a spanking partner.

    Here are some tips for attending spanking events and meetups:

    • Dress appropriately for the event.
    • Be respectful of other attendees.
    • Be open-minded and approachable.
    • Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with someone who catches your eye.
    • Have fun and enjoy the experience.


    Finding a spanking partner on requires effort and patience. By creating a compelling profile, using the search filters effectively, being proactive in reaching out, and attending events and meetups, you can increase your chances of finding a compatible spanking partner. Remember to always be respectful and honest in your interactions, and don’t be discouraged if it takes some time to find the right match. Good luck!